ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Mirella Zygler, a midwife by vocation, lactation advisor, mother of three girls. Daily I work in the maternity unit at the Uster Hospital, where I try to surround patients and their children with the best possible care. I hope that through Minty Mood I will be able to reach and support other mothers in the most beautiful and the most difficult adventure of their lives.

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It is worth looking for a midwife much earlier and it will be good if you start looking for the right one few months before delivery date. An important aspect is also the recommendations of former patients, because as in every profession, among midwives, you can meet people who do not update their knowledge or put their beliefs over medical knowledge. When visiting a midwife one by one at home, it is worth paying attention to whether she is neatly and cleanly dressed, whether she adheres to the rules of personal hygiene and washes her hands after entering the house and before contact with the baby.

It is good practice to make an appointment with your chosen midwife before the birth. An opportunity for this may be control visits around the date of delivery, as long as they are not already taking place in the hospital. Such a meeting is a good opportunity to verify whether the person to whom we intend to entrust the care of ourselves and the child in the first days after delivery has a similar vision to ours and whether, colloquially speaking, "we are on the same page". With such a close and intimate collaboration, mental communication is extremely important. It is good to pay attention to whether the chosen midwife has similar visions and knowledge about breastfeeding, baby care, breastfeeding mother's diet or other aspects for us. An understanding in these fields promises successful and pleasant cooperation as well as positive support for the mother in the first days of childbirth.

Subsequent meetings with the midwife take place after the birth (not counting meetings at the birth school or in the delivery room). Then the midwife has a chance to meet both the newly minted mother and the newborn baby. There may be several or a dozen such meetings (depending on the mother's needs and the availability of the midwife), but the first is usually the most important.

There are no guidelines on how to prepare for it, but it is worth to:

- mom was after the morning toilet

- have comfortable clothes for breastfeeding (if nursing); it is then easier for the midwife to judge the latching on and sucking technique

- documents concerning pregnancy, childbirth and the course of stay in the hospital were prepared.

Additionally, the mother herself can prepare a list of her questions and doubts in advance. Such a list is very useful, because many unexpected things may happen during the visit, mainly resulting from the needs of the newborn, and possibly a plan in your head may quickly disappear. Some questions to ask your midwife at your postpartum visit include:

- how often to feed a newborn?

- how to assess whether a newborn is seated?

- how often should my baby be changed?

- how to dress a child adequately to the weather?

- how to deal with possible skin problems: baby acne, cradle cap, chafes or heat rash?

- how to deal with anxiety and crying in a child?

- what should a nursing mother's menu look like?

- how to prepare for the first walks?

- how to deal with possible problems with breastfeeding?

- where to look for support in case of possible problems: with feeding, with childcare.

There can be a lot of questions and on many different topics. The midwife is the first person to answer and give directions. It is the midwife who knows about the postnatal care, babysitting and breastfeeding. Additionally, she may suggest visiting other specialists, such as: a physiotherapist, osteopath or pediatrician, if she is worried about something.

The midwife's visit itself should take place in a relaxed, calm atmosphere. A common conversation at the table, showing the baby's corner, how to care for and feed him, is aimed at assessing by the midwife whether everything is okay and, if necessary, to support the mother. Prevention of postpartum depression plays an important role here, which is why the midwife is the most appropriate person to talk about possible worse well-being. She will be able to assess the risk and suggest contact with a specialist: a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Some midwives also know the techniques of tying and carrying a baby in a sling. It is one of the best ways to soothe a crying baby and alleviate possible abdominal discomfort. The midwife can then show you the best and most comfortable bindings. For mothers of more than one child, wearing a sling may be beneficial.

Due to her professional experience, the midwife can also share with a newly-minted mother practical tips on how to organize the day with the baby, how to combine childcare with home duties, which is often not obvious at all. The initial chaos and confusion sometimes cause malaise and loss of self-confidence. The midwife's support in such a prosaic matter can restore the wind in the sails for young parents and allow them to enjoy this special time.

Finally, a very valuable tip: it is a good idea if the midwife is seeing both parents at home. Even if the child's father is working, it is good if he is at home during this time so that he can hear how he can support his partner in caring for the child and that he can share the care responsibilities for the child and the mother. This is especially important in the first weeks after childbirth, when the woman's body is just regenerating and needs special care. Involving the child's father in everything related to the newborn and the mother's health has a positive effect on building family ties and gives the man a feeling that he is as important and necessary as the mother.